Saturday, January 23, 2016

Daddy Daughter Days

 My wife comes home tomorrow and I’m pretty excited about how my time with the girls has gone so far. I have somehow managed to cover all of their basic needs. I may not be able to manage getting past the nomination stage for the annual Bloggies, but I think I might be qualified to throw my hat in the ring for this year’s Father of the Year award.
Everyone knows that all you really need to prove for this is that you somehow managed to get your kids to eat and sleep while also taking care of a few of their basic wants. Then again, in order to even get nominated, you will also need to complete at least a few of the daily tasks around the house. Without tackling at least one of the duties Mom can do in her sleep, you won’t have a chance of getting the nomination.

Exhibit A: Food

I managed to provide a meal for almost every one of the meal periods while my wife was out of town. Not only that, but I took special care to make sure I covered the major food groups. I made sure they got meat in the form of cheese burgers and chicken fingers. They got their vegetables in the form of potatoes (french fries). There was even dairy involved thanks to Ben & Jerry’s.
I know you’re probably thinking this isn’t the best diet for young kids, but it does have it’s benefits. The kids get fed, love the menu options and then crash hard after a meal filled with grease and fat. Speaking of sleeping, the girls have been awesome with their bedtime routine.

Exhibit B: Sleeping

One thing (and possibly the only thing) that my wife can’t do, and I do quite well, is sleep on the living room floor. Just to clarify, if I had the choice of anywhere in the house to sleep, I would choose the living room floor. When people talk about a firm mattress, I think plush carpeting on plywood. The fact that the tv is in the living room and I fall asleep best while watching tv is only an added bonus.
An added bonus to me is that my girls think the idea of “camping out” in the living room is a huge treat….so, of course I used that as a bribe for good behavior. We did a little movie night in the living room that transitioned into a sleep-out on the living room floor. Sure, we went through a number of sleeping arrangement changes and a very minor battle over the tv being turned off for sleep time, but all in all, it went very well. The girls and I even managed to get in a good night of sleep. (I didn’t even get complaints in the morning about my snoring…or any of my other bodily noises for that matter.)

Exhibit C: Fun/Basic Needs

No weekend alone with the kids would be complete without taking care of your child’s basic needs. I’m not going to get into the whole take a bath, brush your teeth part since I naturally did some of that. (I probably don’t need to get into how diligent I was about it…) There are few things that I know I handled quite well.
Being able to take action when your five year old daughter requests a hair braid as you’re walking out the door to a work party is a pretty good sign that you might qualify for Father of the year. Then again, it would probably improve your chances if you could actually do a decent job of braiding.
Skip forward a few hours and the real qualifications come into play. During the previously mentioned work party, I managed to transition my daughter from bowling by means of rolling a bowling ball down a ramp to an actual approach-swing-release method. OK fine. So she chose to make the transition on her own…..but I was the parent present when she chose to do that.

Exhibit D: Help around the house

All of my extraordinarily amazing accomplishments above would go to waste if I didn’t manage to do at least a couple of the day-to-day tasks my wife completes with ease. (NOTE: She completes them with ease. I expend quite a bit of effort to get them done.) I managed to keep up with the dishes (so far) and I know that is going to be a key factor in her excitement upon returning home tomorrow.
I also managed to do a couple loads of laundry. By that I mean I actually put the clothes through the wash AND folded them. I only clarify this because I have been known to start a load of laundry and forget about it in the washer or dryer. Or, more commonly, somehow not notice a basket of laundry that needs to be folded. For the record, the photo above is clean laundry that I also managed to fold. (I certainly wouldn’t go through the work of folding dirty laundry….unless I was confused.)

Although I personally feel like I have presented a pretty solid case for Father of the Year, I will leave the choice up to you as to whether or not you want to nominate me. (I will also probably remind you when the Bloggies nominations come around again too.) I’m not really sure where you go to nominate someone for Father of the Year anyway. Maybe I should just keep doing what I do and pretend I’m trying to do whatever a mom does. We all know they don’t get the recognition they deserve. Until next time….