Friday, January 15, 2016
Girls vs. Boys
A few days ago, I wrote "A Blog About Nothing" per the request of my five year old daughter. Posting that blog had two results. One, it amazed me how many people were willing to read a blog about nothing. And two, my 6.8942 year old wanted to throw her own idea in the ring. (6.8942 is because she's turning 7 in about 5.5 weeks and she's adamant about adding everything she can to the "6 years" part.)
She is never one to take it easy on me and she didn't decide to start with this blog idea. She said I should write about "boys against girls and who would win." Nothing like a blog topic to rile up the masses. If I remember correctly, I think my "About Me" page specifically says I don't write to rile up the masses...so I find myself in a real pickle here. Worry not though, I believe I have come up with a solution.
I am going to write the definitive post deciding who "wins" between the boys and the girls. To protect myself from the unruly masses that would otherwise certainly gather at my door, I have decided to limit the testing sample to my own household alone. That way all the unruly people will be limited to those already inside my home. Here's the background on the testing sample:
Me, 41 year old average guy
Sarah, my "adult age" wife
Ziva, my 6.8942 year old daughter
Siri, my 5 year old daughter
As you can see, I am outnumbered three to one going in. I just wanted to point that out now so I have an excuse if I don't win. Truth be told, I have no idea how this is going to play out. Let's get this "competition" started....
We play a lot of games in our house. Board games, video games (now that we have a Wii), sports, you name it. We tend to be fairly competitive. Plus it's a good way to spend time together as a family. I'l admit right up front, I am not the winner in this one. When it comes to sports, I play for fun and my wife plays to destroy her opponent. Between the two of us, she would probably win just about any athletic challenge we competed in. Getting into board games, I still get beat my my little girls. It's a combination of them being extremely fast and eager learners and the fact that they're just so stinking lucky sometimes. [SCORE: G=1, B=0]
We are a food loving family. I thought this challenge was sure to sway in my favor...until my wife made a comment on the matter. First of all, I'm going to rule my daughters out on this one. Ziva could eat her weight in food at most meals and Siri needs constant encouragement to take each and every bite of what little she eats. I think they cancel each other out. That leaves it up to Sarah and me. My first thought was that I could eat her under the table. Based on quantity and speed, that would be true. Her comment referred to the fact that she is "truly passionate" about food. I think when it comes down to it, that beats out the brute force attack I make on food of any kind. [SCORE: G=2, B=0]
Living in a house of three girls, knowing how to style hair comes in handy. Considering I don't really have much hair, you'd think I have the unfair disadvantage...but you'd be wrong. I have a secret weapon, or rather, had a "dad bonus" while learning how to do hair. I learned how to braid rope many years ago and that came in handy doing my girls' hair in the morning. My added "dad bonus" is that there was absolutely zero expectations on my abilities. If their hair looked bad, who cares?? They just say "daddy tried." Eventually, I had done their hair so many times that I got really good at it. I now take wild and crazy special requests from my daughters and do a fairly decent job with it. I'd have to say I have the win on this one. [SCORE: G=2, B=1]
This was a tough one to call because there are a number of variables. My daughters don't like to take naps anymore and often fight them with all their might. Once they do eventually crash, they are dead to the world and impossible to wake up. Sarah and I love naps, but don't have as much opportunity to take them. Sarah very rarely gets to even attempt a nap and if she does she'll wake up at the drop of a pin. Me on the other hand.... I can sleep through just about anything. Given the fact that I actually take the occasional afternoon nap on the weekend, I think this one also falls in my favor. [SCORE: G=2, B=2]
This challenge could probably benefit from video evidence, but fortunately for me, we don't have any video evidence. My wife, like apparently all women on the face of the planet, actually knows how to dance. Me on the other hand, not so much. I am more likely to be mistaken for having a seizure that performing and known dance move. I am fine with "hold and sway" slow dancing. Other than that, I'm a lost cause. My daughters got their dance moves from their mother and from mimicking what they see on Disney movies so they beat me hands down every time. [SCORE: G=3, B=2]
I'm not sure my daughters can really weigh in on this competition, but since that still leave my wife an I, it's still a fair battle. (I should point out though that some of the best tea parties I ever went to were prepared by my daughters.) My wife does the majority of the cooking and she's probably a better cook in terms of following a recipe and putting a nice meal on the table. But just like in the food challenge above, there is a little more to it than the obvious. I picked up a great cooking ability during my bachelor days that I think will take me to the victory on this one. I can create a number of full meals with what my wife would refer to as "nothing in the pantry." I think my ability to create a meal out of "nothing" gives me the advantage on this one. Let's face it. Anyone can follow a recipe. It takes real talent to grab a few obscure "ingredients" found in the cupboards and create a full meal. [SCORE: G=3, B=3]
I've been rambling on for far too long now so I'll end with this challenge. (For the record, there are 23 categories on my list of competitions generated by my wife, daughters and me, but I can only cover so many.) You'd think that I'm being nice by ending on this one because of the activity itself, but you'd be wrong. I think my wife would be able to sew a button on a shirt if she really had to, but anything sewing related really comes to me. Growing up with a mom who practically lived in her quilting room, I picked up a few things over the years. This category is definitely in my favor. [Final SCORE: G=3, B=4]
You may think I have created a biased list above, but it is my blog and I can take a few liberties here and there. I'm sure my wife and daughters will have some input on this list. They'll probably talk about how Sarah is the best belcher in the house (followed closely behind by our youngest daughter). The girls beat my wife and I in coloring and painting. My wife certainly knows how to shop. They can list different things all day long, but at the end of the day, can any of it really compare to my extraordinary Lego castle building skills? I think not.
This may not have been a completely impartial list of challenges, but it was fun to find out that the boys win in my house. I am starting to regret this post a little bit because I am now realizing that since Ziva knows how to read now, she will be able to see what I wrote here. My wife will definitely have something to say about it. Little Siri may be the bigger "daddy's girl" of my daughters, but I have a feeling she will easily be swayed by Sarah and Ziva to enact some form of retribution. Until next time....
Posted by Jesse Zahrt
I am an average everyday guy who happens to enjoy writing. My world pretty much revolves around my amazing wife and two little girls. The primary outlet for my rambling nonsense is on my average jester blog that I started in 2014. I also do a little guest blogging which I share to my average jester moonlights collection. As always, many thanks for visiting and reading some of my gibberish. Comments and suggestions are always welcomed and seldom ridiculed.