Sunday, January 24, 2016

My Answer to the Man Purse

….an average jester short.

I thought I would share a small observation I made this weekend while I was flying as a solo parent with two young daughters in tow. One of the things we did as dad and daughters was go to the Wow Zone for my work party. For those of you unfamiliar with the Wow Zone, it’s a business with bowling alleys, laser tag, indoor mini golf and an arcade. I think it’s adequately named considering the first words out of my daughters’ mouths as we walk in the door is “Wow!”

While there, I was visiting with one of my co-workers who also happened to be there with one of his daughters…minus his wife and other daughter. I made the comment that we as men are not as prepared for every possibility as our wives due to our lack of a purse. We just don’t have that quick access to crayons, kleenex, handi-wipes, spare clothes, etc, because we don’t carry a purse.

I suppose I could drag a backpack around with me everywhere we went, but some places just don’t like that. I could wear a fanny pack, but that’s just wrong on a couple counts. Besides not being socially acceptable since the 80’s, it really doesn’t have enough room to make a difference. It would be like the cute little hand purse my wife would rather carry instead of her “mom bag.” (minus the style factor) It’s easier to carry, but just can’t hold what you actually need to carry.

I (briefly) considered getting a man purse to fill the need. I’ll be honest though, the only reason I would even consider that would be to make my wife laugh. She would have a flashback to that episode of Friends where one of the guys (I can’t remember if it was Ross or Joey) bought a man bag and was constantly ridiculed about his “man purse” or “murse.” In reality, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

This morning though, I had a brilliant idea. I thought about the number of times my wife has to dig something out of her purse on Sunday mornings while we’re at church. Gum, crayons, kleenex, you name it…I knew I would need to have it. My solution was to wear cargo pants. I carried gum and granola bars (in case there were no treats for the girls before Sunday School) in one cargo pocket and kleenex and crayons in the other cargo pocket. It worked great and I didn’t have to lug around a bag.

The only problem I can see with this solution is for those of you who have babies and therefore need things like diapers and wipes. My solution to that would be to force a comeback of another stylish product from the 80’s….parachute pants. (That’s far more likely to happen than fanny packs.) Just think about it a minute. With all those pockets, you could carry a spare diaper or two, a travel pack of wipes, a onesie, a pacifier, a flask of Jack Daniels…everything you need to survive a day out with an infant. It’s just a thought?!? Until next time….