Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Fruitcake and Unicorns


I decided that since Halloween is already less than a week away, I should probably get started on my Christmas list. My wife says I'm really hard to shop for so I hope she reads this post. Personally, I don't think I'm all that hard to shop for, but I always try to be helpful. 

This may come as a shock to you considering my love for food, but I have never had a fruitcake. In fact, I don't recall ever seeing a fruitcake in person. For years I just assumed that fruitcakes were a mythical food talked about by parents as a veiled threat of what they'd have to eat if they misbehaved. After many years of never having seen or eaten a fruitcake, I am now curious. 

Because of this, I am asking for a fruitcake for Christmas. I'm not sure if it's something my wife would be willing to get for me so I am turning to my loyal readers for assistance....both of you. If I'm going to to get my hands on some fruitcake, I want to do it right. (Assuming that's possible when it comes to fruitcake.) 

I'm thinking the easiest plan would be if one of you just invited me over for a big holiday feast followed by fruitcake for dessert. In the off chance that none of you are willing to do that, I could use some less intrusive assistance. Since I've only heard the horror stories about fruitcake, I don't really know where to begin. 

Can you actually buy a fruitcake in the store or is it something Grandma needs to make? (Yes, I realize I can Google an answer to that, but where's the fun in that?) Is there a best flavor to go with...or one to avoid? Maybe they're all the same?? I have no idea. That's why I'm turning to you wonderful folks. 

Let me know any suggestions, recommendations and/or warnings you may have when it comes to fruitcake. If they are truly just a myth, then I am willing to accept a unicorn for Christmas instead. My girls would probably prefer having a unicorn around anyway. Then again, knowing my luck, unicorns probably eat only fruitcake and then I'd be back in the same boat trying to track down fruitcake. Until next time....